its my second week at the new university and i can't tell u the number of times i have broken down crying in my room (or bathroom, if my roommate was home). i have no idea why i feel so out of place and the whole pressure of living up to a scholarship is really numbing my brain and stressing me the hell out.

honestly no one gets, no ONE gets how i truly feel. i always tell my friends "i miss hw" or like i ask for snaps from them from uni and its so painful to watch them. no one understands how fucking hard it was to leave my comfort zone and it was one of the biggest struggles in my life. i struggled so hard to make the decision, and im struggling now to stick to it.

my mom thinks im extremely happy, which is good. i dont want her to think otherwise. i need to put up the strongest front i got to my parents, because the least i can do is study hard and make their money's worth.

as for now, i struggle with the anxiety of going to class and meeting allllll sorts of characters, and i am honestly the shittiest person at saying no. i wonder whats going to happen to me.